I survived the first two semesters of graduate school. I had a lot of fear prior to beginning school. Would I do well? Would I be able to fit in? Would I adjust to being back in school? I did fine and exceeded my expectations. However, not with some stress. There were times where I felt overwhelmed and struggled to managed work and school. I definitely could have managed my time better. Going into this Fall semester, I know that there are adjustments I will need to make in order to continue to be a successful graduate student.
I have been praying for purpose for the last several weeks and through my prayers it revealed many things to me. One, is that I keep running away from the things I love to pursue things I like that would provide a stable life. I question if I am taking the path most taken. Embarking on a life where I have a 9 to 5 job, but no time for myself. I am constantly choosing between my true self wants and what is realistic.
Growing up, I was always really ambitious and no one could tell me I couldn’t do something. As I grow older, I found my self doubting if what I want is even realistic. In the past, I never doubted anything. I always had internal faith that I would be successful. Now it just seems so hard to think that way.
The second thing my prayers revealed is that I need to have more faith in the unknown and unseen. I realize faith is the belief in something yet unseen. Sometimes I feel I am working really hard,but do not know what I am working hard towards. I have been praying for more faith and confidence.
I have had a few interviews where the issue of whether my program would conflict with my work schedule. I am considering taking off my resume. What do you think? Any suggestions?
I wake up in the morning without a sense of purpose. Typically, I write down my goals for the day and week. I always aim to have a good day. However, sometimes I feel like I am not really living my life but merely living in someone else’s life. I feel like it is my mother’s life because I would not have put myself if some of these situations. I live at home. I have been questioning how I got here. When I graduated I always thought I would move out but that never happened.I question whether I am taking enough risks in life or am I playing it safe. I am letting other hold me back.
On my way to work, I thought about Taylor Swift and how she is the same age as me and is ruling the world. Meanwhile, I am driving to a job that does not correlate to my interests or passions. Sometimes, when I meet people I compare my life to them. They seem to have it together or at least appear to be. I have recently started praying to god to find the purpose in my life. It has only been two weeks so I do not know if it working or not. I ended my contract with a job I was temping at because I knew it was not for me. I am waiting for this feeling that a certain career or job is meant for me. I have not had that feeling yet. I wonder why?
Growing up I always had a traditional concept of what a best friend was. Someone who you spoke to all the time, had sleepovers, shared cloths and only talked to about your deepest darkest secrets. As I have grown, I have watched the concept of the best friend die. I have many friends who I admire, enjoy and secretly wish I could be like them.
For a while I struggled with the idea of having one best friend to now having many. I have accepted that at this point in my life there is no such thing as the best friend. Just many friends, who I enjoy different parts of my self with.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 400 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.
I just wanted to update my followers on all the new and exciting things that are going on in my life. I just became a new independent beauty consultant with Mary Kay. I am SUPER excited. I have been trying to start a business for a while but did not know what to start or how to go about it. It is very expensive and for someone who is still establishing themselves professionally, it can be hard to have the income to support a new business. I love makeup and all things beautiful so Mary Kay was the most perfect fit. I have gone on several appointments and it has been so fun getting to know people and their skin habits. Please check out my page. http://www.marykay.com/sjuana and my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Samah-Juana-Mary-Kay-IBC/1515425252033015?ref=hl