What is the state of your being?

22 Dec

The state of my being is to worry. I love to worry, I enjoy it. I bask in worrying about everything. I came to the conclusion that I operate in a state of worry. I make decisiongs because I am worried. I will not say certain things because I am worried about what others will think. I will not try certain things because I am worried about how it will turn out. I use to not be that way.

Unfortnately that is not healthy. I decided to figure out what makes me worry.

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2 Responses to “What is the state of your being?”

  1. Deborah L. Duncan December 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    My grandmother was a worrier and often told me how she worried about my Dad, me, other family members, etc. She rarely expressed affection – hugging & kissing was for hello & goodbye.

    After many years, she asked me if i was worried about my husband. who was travelling at the time. When I said I wasn’t worried about him, she was quite taken aback. Upon reflection, I came to believe that, to her, worrying was a more comfortable way of expressing her love than being affectionate (hugging, kissing, saying “I love you”. She grew up with a mother who did not express her emotions and at a time (early 1900’s) when women, in particular, were supposed to give to everyone else and it was “selfish” to want something for yourself.

    Family cultures vary greatly and there are patterns and behaviors that are learned when very young and it is VERY hard to change them. Some of the behaviors we learn help us throughout our lives; other are not particularly helpful in most circumstances; yet others work for a time or in certain environments, then become obsolete. But if we don’t examine them, we tend to hang on to these behaviors well after they have become useless or damaging.

    i saw my father repeating this same pattern of worrying – especially when waking in the morning. i try to be conscious of it and divert my thoughts to more productive thinking.

    Worrying is never a constructive activity. My brother says it is like “paying interst on a loan you haven’t taken out yet”.

    • samahj December 31, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

      Wow, what a great comment. I am trying to work on worrying. It is taking a toll on me emotionally. I just feel as if I get something great and bad with worrying. This time of year I am the most stressed out. It sucks.

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